I am so sorry that you are going through this. You are heading in the right direction and that is acknowledging what you are going through and letting others know how to help you. And, it’s okay to ASK for the help, too.
As far as professional help, if you find yourself without healthcare (which is a damn shame we would even have to consider the thought, but that is a whole other topic) Talkspace has several plans for therapists starting is less than $200 a month. It’s worth it to explore.
And, if you ever need anything, please feel free to reach out.