Yes, Thomas P Seager, PhD. You hit the nail on the head. The key to solving the issues I have with male entitlement can all be improved by me controlling my feelings. What?!?!?
Thomas, you completely miss the entire fact that AJ and I have two entirely different issues, as she and I have come to realize.
Hers is intimacy being treated like a commodity. Mine is men feeling entitled to intimacy. The issues cannot be solved by the same methods.
Her issue is an internal choice in which she uses her own agency to determine any physical relationship, as she has the right to do. I make the same determinations as I deem appropriate.
Mine is external issue in which, absolutely, I am exceptionally bothered by men’s feelings. I find nothing appropriate about a man approaching me or going out with me and then EXPECTING a little something in return. It does not work that way. I can’t control these men’s feelings but I can still be annoyed and offended, and even at times downright scared by it.