I remember seeing this cartoon when I was a kid. This poor guy is standing outside when it starts raining. He opens up his umbrella and starts walking. No matter which direction he goes or how fast he walks, that little cloud of rain is always over him. Just him. Everyone else is dry and he’s soaked.
If I had a dollar for every time I felt like that guy, I would buy a massive amount of stock in an umbrella company and retire rich. Knowing my luck, though, there would be an explosion in the umbrella making factory and I would lose everything.
Meanwhile, we all have that friend. Everything goes right for them. They apply for their dream job and get it. They put in a low offer on their dream house and get it. One relationship comes to an end and they effortlessly regroup themselves and saunter into some lunch establishment only to bump right into the love of their life.
We hate that friend.
Whenever we long for something good to occur, we look around us and see good things raining down on everyone else. We become hypersensitive to it and notice it more than ever.
When this happens, we have a choice and that choice determines what happens next. We can continue feeling anger and frustration that the world is not giving us what we want or we can figure out what those people are doing right and do that.
And clearly, these people are doing something right. How do we know this? Easy. Luck does not exist. Period.
No one is running around distributing magic coins to special people to go stick in the vending machine of life so what they want plops out the bottom like candy bar.
Simply, the world does not work this way. Our lives are a balance of what we can control and what we can’t control. All those people who have good things showered upon them understand this. We control our mindset but we can’t control the outcome. The outcome, however, is directly connected to the mindset we choose.
I have pushed back long and hard against the entire concept that I was not in complete control of my life. There’s irony in this. If there isn’t something else out there guiding my life in the direction it’s going, then I am controlling my life. With that logic, every single time I not only couldn’t catch a break, but things got worse, it was my fault.
Well, that’s a nightmare. I don’t want that. I don’t want to be a shit magnet. Yet, time and time again, I was.
When I looked at the people around me who had great things happening in their lives I noticed a commonality. They are all amazingly positive people. Almost annoyingly so. They’re the kind of people you want to hate but can’t.
What I’ve come to realize is that if you approach a really positive person and ask to talk to them about their positivity, they will jump at that chance. They practically live for it. So, I went in. God help me, I went in.
Every single person I talked to mentioned the same concept. On some level or another, they all believed in manifesting what they wanted in life. How they did it was different. Some prayed. Some meditated. Some wrote intentions. Some made vision boards. Some concepts, different names.
The first time I heard about the entire concept of manifesting what we want, I was annoyed as hell. I am a woman of action. This weird innate New York thing kicks in whenever I try to surrender to the universe or anything else. I get antsy and impatient and feel an overwhelming need to make things happen. I’ll force it. Ask me how well that has worked for me.
I used to have this picture in my mind of people who manifest things in their lives. They wear lots of flowy clothing and talk to rocks. I’ve never had time for that.
I’m not opposed to either of these things but they hardly seemed like necessities to building a great life. What is a necessity though, it embracing the entire concept of energy. We get back what we put out there. If we are miserable people, misery will find us. If we are positive people, good things find us.
If you don’t believe me, think about the friend you have that no one really wants around. They get invited places but if you have to sit next to them at happy hour, you’re not happy anymore. They complain about everything. They can’t see the good in a damn thing.
The positive people will avoid this person like the plague and seek out other happy people. That negative friend is sucking the joy and life out of the room.
Why would we think that what we put out there in all areas of our life would work any differently than that situation above? The energy is the same. Miserable people will only attract other miserable people.
When we wallow in our own misery, we chalk it up to being unlucky because we don’t want to accept responsibility for our crappy attitude.
We deny our essential role in how we make things happen in our life. If we’re going to stop that damn rain cloud from dropping the torrential downpour on our heads, we have to make better decisions regarding our mindset. We have to look at what we can do differently.
- Lucky people believe they can have good things. Unlucky people don’t see themselves as worthy.
- Lucky people ask a higher power for guidance. Unlucky people think they know better than everyone and everything.
- Lucky people ask “why not me?” Unlucky people ask “why me?”
- Lucky people see obstacles as opportunities. Unlucky people see obstacles as the end of the road.
- Lucky people put out positivity and let it come back. Unlucky people put out negativity and are surprised when it comes back.
- Lucky people are open. Unlucky people are closed off.
All of this sounds incredibly simple and it is. It takes practice to shift your mindset and that sucks, too. It means stopping yourself every time you have a negative thought and redirecting yourself.
You don’t have to put on flowing clothes and talk to rocks but you do have to spend some time talking to yourself.
We all have this part in us that does believe that there is something beyond us. It’s what compels us, regardless of age, to pick up a dandelion puff and blow the seeds away, make a wish in a fountain, or hold our breath when we go through tunnels. Tap into that. Ask for goodness and then let go. Stop wallowing. Watch what happens.