Why I Choose to Spend So Much Time Alone

My never ending effort to shoot first.

I spend a lot of time alone. I’m pretty sure I’m doing it wrong. For me, being alone is a preemptive strike against loneliness. I know that sounds weird. Hold on.

I enjoy being alone and it lets me have the freedom to do whatever I want. I don’t have to worry about what other people want to do, plans they want to make. It gives me the quiet time for my own thoughts, for my brain to slow down and find a little peace.

When I choose to be alone it means I’m in control. There’s no loneliness because it was my decision and my preference.

My family cancelled Thanksgiving because my dad was sick. Friends stepped in and asked if I wanted to join them. It was a sweet offer. I declined. I chose instead to spend the holiday alone because it sounded nice and relaxing and calm. I could spend quality time with my daughter and we could stay in our pajamas all day long. It was an amazing holiday. Then Thursday passed.

I have had two dates with a guy. It’s not serious. It’s enjoyable. We had tentative plans for date number three this past weekend. Not having any concrete plans for Thanksgiving, he took the opportunity to go an hour or so north to…