Member-only story

When The Conversation’s Over, Burn the Tape

Replaying it only burns you out.

Vanessa Torre
4 min readSep 16, 2019
Photo by Priscilla Du Preez via Unsplash

If there is one thing I have been exceptionally good at in my life, it’s overthinking. There’s even been overthinking of my overthinking. It’s the least productive expense of my time.

It’s not a sign of weakness. It has nothing to do with self-esteem issues. Still, it’s not healthy. It’s steeped in anxiety and the setting of unrealistic expectations for ourselves.

It’s like a tape of the conversation is handed to me when it’s over. This tape is not a consolation prize. It’s a one way pass down a rabbit hole. Rewind, play, stop, rewind, play.

Recently, I found myself in a conversation that was particularly disastrous. I’ve replayed the tape in my head dozens and dozens of times. I can see it starting. I see it escalating and then I see it ending horribly.

I lost sleep over it. I struggled to figure out what the hell went wrong. What could I have done differently? Did I say something that spun it in the wrong direction? At the end of the day, it didn’t matter.

Good relationships, whatever the level, are not ruined with one conversation…

--

--

Vanessa Torre
Vanessa Torre

Written by Vanessa Torre

Top 10 feminist writer. Writing, coaching, and relentlessly hyping women in midilfe. linktr.ee/Vanessaltorre Email: vanessa@vanessatorre.com

Responses (9)