What It Took For Me to Be a Happy Single Person

I don’t mean content. I don’t mean not frustrated. I mean happy.

Photo by Brittani Burns via Unsplash

How I got here was a matter of catch or release. Grab ahold of what I needed, let go of what I didn't. The decisions about what fell into which category were trial and error. I made mistakes but, more times than I appreciated, I came out on top.

I found strength in other women. I’ve not always done this. I can admit now that some of that has to do with jealousy. I’d see women around me with loving, wonderful boyfriends or husbands and wonder why I didn’t deserve the same thing. It doesn’t work that way.

I had to tell myself, over and over again, that I had every right to be happy and that I needed to exercise that right.

Singlehood is no punishment. There’s no shame in it and it doesn't require us to live without love and care. We are all worthy of love and we need to be open to it to recognize it.

Not every evolution involves a metamorphosis.

I focused far too long on the parts of me that people made me think were too much or not enough. I’m weird. I do silly things like cross-stitch gangsta rap lyrics while watching and singing along to all of Les Miserables. I love that about myself. Taking stock in that is so simple and makes me appreciate what I bring to the table for me, not someone else, but for me. I’ve learned to enjoy myself.

Flaming pinball, nerd, music lover, wine snob, horrible violin player. No, I won’t stop taking pictures of my drinks. vanessaltorre@gmail.com IG: vanessaltorre

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