To the Next Man Who Comes Along

There are some things you need to know.

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Photo by Priscilla Du Preez via Unsplash

There’s a good chance we don’t know each other yet. There’s a good chance it’ll be a while. There’s a good chance I’ll try your patience. I want you to know what you’re getting into. You can’t say I didn’t warn you.

I’m sorry they broke my heart. It wasn’t my fault. I’m sorry I let them. But, I broke my heart too. I don’t want to do it again. I’m sorry you have to clean up the mess. I’m sorry there’s still a mess to clean up. I’m working on that.

I’m sorry I don’t trust you and you have to work twice as hard to earn what they took. It’s a big job. I’m willing to get into that hard work if you are. Be careful with my heart. With my soul. They’re skeptical of you. My walls were a necessity but I want you on the inside. You don’t have to fight your way in. I’ll let you in. Please don’t make me regret that.

My standards are high. My expectations, more so. I’ll test you. It’s not to be mean. I just want to see what you’re made of. I don’t want to spend nine months with you only to find that when the going gets tough, you’re going to get the hell out of here. Tell me now. Leave now.

I have no more energy left. If you’re looking for a chase, you’re going to have to go elsewhere. I’m too tired to run. This couch is comfy and I’d rather sit there than run away from you just to get you to come after me. You’re welcome to just sit and rest next to me and have a glass of wine. I want you here with me, not waiting for me to bait you.

You’re going to have to let me love you. I’m good at it. My love is a scarce commodity. If you won’t take it, I won’t give it. I’ll keep it in reserve and let it build for the next person after you that will need to read this. My love won’t be wasted.

Likewise, I need effort. I’ll match it. I have a lot to give and I have been waiting patiently for someone worthy of what I have. But, I’ll only give what you do. Please don’t make me hold back. I don’t like being confined. I go big. If I can’t I’ll go home. Without you.

I may be easily won but I’m hard to keep. You can ask both of my ex-husbands about that. It’s the little things that will keep me here. I don’t need you to send me a dozen red roses. But the big bunch of sunflowers in the discount bin at the grocery store on sale for $1.99? A few of those will send me over the moon. It’s simple. The small things add up. Just think about me on the way to the checkout is all I ask.

I may be a pain in the ass, but I’m a good woman. I’ll take care of you but I need attention. My neediness isn’t a fault. It’s my hard line. I’ve gone without and I won’t do it again. Your B game isn’t going to work with me. I’m better than that and you are too or else we wouldn’t be having this conversation.

I’ve waited my whole life for the really, really good stuff. If all of this doesn’t scare you, if you’re still here… you’re the really, really good stuff. Have seat and stay a while.

Written by

Flaming pinball, nerd, music lover, wine snob, horrible violin player. No, I won’t stop taking pictures of my drinks. vanessaltorre@gmail.com IG: vanessaltorre

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