This is so amazingly written. I am honored to have been reference by and to inspire your talent. I also agree with every damn thing you said. I hope this is not surprising. But, perhaps it may be.

It’s weird to me how many people have figured me as quite the prude. Not so. But, that’s another story. My issue and the genesis for the community college statement was not a judgment of myself and who *I* choose as a partner or anyone that does the same. We make the best choice for us, for who we are, at that moment, based on our needs at the time. This can change like the wind.

My issue is, and always has been and always will be, the male entitlement that I have encountered where men feel entitled to our bodies. The male entitlement I have encountered spurred the comment. My sentiment is based on their behavior, not mine.

Intimacy is a joint decision. Intimacy also does not come with a time table. My advice to your friends would have been very different. I don’t subscribe to rules around intimacy. Every situation is different. What I do subscribe to is that I will be treated with respect.

I could take or leave dating. The fact that I had 12 first dates in 30 days is, indeed, me being super picky. Only one guy passed to the next round. (And second date DID happen. And it was fun.)

All this aside, I think men are amazing creatures. I still believe in love. I still think dating is. And, I absolutely love the mother fucking hell out of you for writing this piece. It is smart. It is beautiful and it is hella self aware. Damn. Good. Job.

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Flaming pinball, nerd, music lover, wine snob, horrible violin player. No, I won’t stop taking pictures of my drinks. vanessaltorre@gmail.com IG: vanessaltorre

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