Things No One Told Me Would Happen to My Body

A heads up would have been nice.

Photo via Unsplash

have this friend Peri. I will straight up tell you she’s a horrible person. Peri is planning a visit but she’s flakey. She just kind of stands down the street waving at me. Her last name is Menopause. Peri Menopause. Oh? You know her too?

There are things that are glorious about middle…