Things No One Told Me Would Happen to My Body

A heads up would have been nice.

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Photo via Unsplash

There are things that are glorious about middle age. You have wisdom. You feel comfortable with who you are. You can afford vacations. However, there are things that people just didn’t tell me would happen as I aged. I’m not pleased.

Everything gets gray.

When I say everything gets gray, I mean it. Every. Thing. Don’t say I didn’t tell you. I’m sorry. Like, really sorry.

I still break out like a teenager.

Being with me is emotional Russian Roulette.

Southern migration happens rapidly.


Jowls? We get jowls?

I would love my body anyway.

Written by

Flaming pinball, nerd, music lover, wine snob, horrible violin player. No, I won’t stop taking pictures of my drinks. IG: vanessaltorre

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