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The Worst Part of My Decision to End My Marriage
One thing still makes me cringe when I think about it.
I didn’t take my decision to end my marriage lightly. It was the most painful decision I have ever made. It’s a reckoning that ends with a thud so deep down in your heart that the sound serves only as a reminder of emptiness.
I knew, once I said the words, that my life would be incredibly different and my husband’s more so. The absence of another person in your home every day is a radical change that you can never prepare for.
I thought long and hard about what life would be like if I stayed and what it would be like if I left. The last thing I did in making my decision has stuck with me.
Before I asked my husband for a divorce I ran a complete financial analysis to ensure that I could actually afford to do it.
I went through all of our bills and looked at what I would be solely responsible for after the divorce. This included the mortgage on the house that I desperately wanted to keep as it’s been the home that my daughter has known most of her life.
I spent hours while my husband was asleep making spreadsheets with every scenario I could think of.
