The Way of Beauty is Not Well Marked

But I haven’t even tried to find a map.

I don’t like rough patches. I actually hate them. Then again, I don’t think there is anyone who likes them. Anyone who comes upon a struggle and says, “Yes! That’s what I was looking for!”

I’m having a moment and it’s not a good one. What’s become real for me is that I’ve gotten exceptionally good at seeing these moments for what they are. They’re not an event or occurrence.

There’s just this rumbling. It stirs. Right. There.

I’m not so good at preventing these moments where beauty falls away and you lose whatever you had in you. I am half assing the prevention. I’m not even remotely trying to stave these moments off. So, it’s a vicious circle.

My brain gets spinning. My gut hurts. The world gets a little much. My soft heart feels a little minced. Things stir.

It’s a very real moment when you realize you’re not doing as well as you could. And by well, I mean really well. Not money, not success. I mean wholehearted joyfulness. It may look like it to others and it may be what you want people…