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The Difference Between a Warning Sign and a Red Flag
Making the distinction, setting boundaries, and knowing your limits.
I’m in the third year of my current run of singlehood following my second divorce. Yes, second. I’m a slow learner.
I’ve thrown a lot of fish back in the ocean and I’ve been tossed back just as many times. If I’ve learned one thing about dating, it’s that the longer we do it, the pickier we get. It’s okay. We’re earned that right.
The hardest lesson for me to learn in these last few years is how much attention to pay to my gut. It seems like a simple concept: your gut tells you something, you follow your gut. Happiness ensues.
Somehow, I have messed this up more times than I care to admit. I have quickly dismissed someone by finding fault with them for something small and then hyper-focusing on it until it becomes a big deal. This is what we affectionately refer to as relationship sabotage.
Conversely, I have seen huge glaring issues that I have convinced myself aren’t really an issue. Things like the fact that one guy moved back in with his ex-wife. How I managed to sweep that tidbit under the carpet is still beyond me.
After many trials and many errors, I started seeing patterns…