So, I’m at the Grocery Store Stalking Men…

The man of my dreams does not eat Fruity Pebbles

It’s 7:45pm on a Friday night and I’m at the grocery store because I’m out of cat food. This sentence sums up my entire existence as a single person. It’s okay to be jealous.

Having recently publicly stated that I would experiment in trying to meet men in an old school manner, I realized I had a golden opportunity.

Friday night seems like as good of a time as any to meet guys in a grocery store because clearly they have no dates. Like me. My soulmate could be here, fondling mangoes.

I grabbed a cart regardless of my sole planned purchase being a 14 lb bag of IAMS. I was hopeful. For good reason, too.

Once, while shopping in the spice aisle, I recognized a guy I went to high school with. We had actually matched on a dating website. I ghosted him because, for some reason, the fact that we went to high school together weirded me out. I’m a odd bird.

I figured, worst case scenario, he shops there. He’s single. So there’s always Joey from high school…