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Our Feelings Aren’t Meant to Be Kept
Having them and holding onto them are very different things.
I had a panic attack yesterday. It was one of the worst I’ve ever had. They are few and far between but they hit like a ton of bricks. There is nothing I hate more.
There was no one specific reason for my panic attack. It was everything and nothing. There was too much and not enough. I was overwhelmed. My plate is full, but my cup is empty.
I was at work. My hands started shaking. My chest felt tight. I could feel my body running hot. I couldn’t focus. My appetite was gone. I felt like crying. When I got to my car at the end of the day, I did.
When I got home, I took a few hours to finish the work I had that was causing stress. After that, I did everything I could to get rid of the panic. I took a long hot bath. I listened to Chopin. I read. I diffused some of my hippie essential oil crap.
Around 11pm, my brain finally started shutting off. The panic started to pass. It took 12 hours to get there. I had exhausted myself.
There was only one thing that actually helped. I had too much in my head and it needed to go. I am an…
