My therapist pointed out that “nice” carries expectation on some level. We’re nice because we want people to like us, we want them to treat us well, something. Even it’s emotional, we want something from them in return.
She pointed out that I would frequently buy books for my ex-boyfriend thinking I was being nice. I was trying to make him happy. If I made him happy, he would want to be with me. Effed up thought process. And toxic.
Kindness is for the sake of doing it.
Sooooo much healing.