No, I Don’t Want to “Guard My Heart”

I have earned the right to throw caution completely to the wind.

Vanessa Torre
5 min readAug 7, 2023
Photo by Lucas Ludwig on Unsplash

I am not a fan of prescriptive anything in my life. Loosely translated, there is no telling me what to do. I can’t stomach it anymore. Go over there with that nonsense.

I have sorted my life into things that I need and things that I don’t need. Two buckets. This happened as the grand finale of a pretty damn spectacular midlife crisis.

This has included understanding what boundaries I have in allowing people to influence my thinking.

One area of influence I can’t abide very well is commentary on my love life. I have lived nearly five decades on this Earth. I do not wish to be treated like a 19-year-old in a relationship for the first time in her life.

I’m too old for that. I am a woman who has been married and divorced twice. I understand that may compel people think that, clearly, I am in desperate need of someone to save my midlife ass from either a third divorce or dying alone.

I have read a dozen self-help books on relationships. I have spent thousands of dollars on therapy. I listen to podcasts by…

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Vanessa Torre

Top 10 feminist writer. Writing, coaching, and relentlessly hyping women in midilfe. linktr.ee/Vanessaltorre Email: vanessa@vanessatorre.com