Is It Time For Women to Go on a Domestic Strike?

If we got paid for this work, we wouldn't want to work here.

Vanessa Torre
6 min readMay 19


Photo by Photo by Anastasia Shuraeva via Pexels

I keep thinking we’re making headway in the general area of equality, and then something happens that snaps me back to reality. Sure, sometimes it’s an issue like the reversal of Roe v. Wade. Other times, it’s something so small it’s maddening.

Recently, I was set off by a man’s alleged inability to cut a piece of cheese. That’s it. That's the list.

Recently, a bunch of us got together for a late lunch and happy hour at a friend’s house. It took us about an hour to put everything together. We asked my friend’s son-in-law to do one thing: cut up some cheese.

He complained for five whole minutes that he’s not good at cutting cheese, offering detailed accounts of what he would do the screw up the cheese, including claiming not to know how even to open the block of cheese.

My friend and I stated several times that we had very low expectations, and so whatever he did was fine. He did not relent the complaining, telling us we should ask his wife to do it until, you guessed it, his wife came and did it.

This is weaponized incompetence. It’s inherently misogynistic, and it wreaks havoc on women’s efforts to be seen as equals.

Women are making huge strides regarding personal and professional equality, but that doesn’t stop us from sabotaging our own efforts either.

If we really want equality, we need to do two things: say “no” and then not feel bad about it. Let’s be honest. Most of us suck at this.

Making change happen boils down to standing up for ourselves and calling out a whole myriad of microaggressions. Sadly, they seem to be all over the place. So, here is a short list of things we need to say “no” to:

Doing more than 50% of household labor

Women have always done the majority of household labor. That may have made sense a century ago, as only 20% of women worked outside of the home 100 years ago. The reasoning was that men made the money to keep the house going, women should do…



Vanessa Torre

Top 10 feminist writer. Writing, coaching, and relentlessly hyping women in midilfe. Email: