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I’m Declaring This My Coastal Grandmother Summer
I have trained for this. Hot girls, please step aside.
Being Memorial Day Weekend, I took to the river for a paddleboard session. It makes my heart happy and excruciating Phoenix heat tolerable for about four minutes and thirty-seven seconds.
I went with a group of people I had met through a Facebook group. This should already tell you the demographic of people with whom I fit in. We remember T-Mobile Sidekicks.
When this is how you meet people, pictures are taken of such outings. This is how such groups expand. “Look at how much fun we are having!” And, I had a ball. Until the next day when pictures that were taken were posted to said Facebook group’s page.
I will tell you this: It does not matter how much bodywork you do, how much therapy you go to, or how much self-love you practice. Nothing, and I mean nothing, prepares you for seeing a picture of yourself in a bikini from behind, that you did not know was being taken, when you are 48 years of age. Did I say nothing?
If this happens to you, let me give you some words of advice. Do not, under any circumstances, zoom in. It is the devil’s playground. Retreat quickly. Close the entire computer. Pour a glass of wine.
