I’m a Middle-Class, American, White Woman and I’m Confused as Hell

I don’t even know where to put my feelings

Photo by Engin Akyurt via Unsplash

Please don’t call me Karen. My mundane life exists without incident. I went out in public for the first time a week ago and was overcharged for my tab. I don’t even remotely care. I’m not complaining. I don’t wish to speak to your manager. I know my privilege.

My privilege is what’s giving me anxiety right now. It’s like survivor's guilt only it’s privilege guilt. I know how I have it easier than most and I feel horrible because of it and that, in and of itself, feels stupid. I don’t know what to do.

I’m an empath. This means I’m a total disaster right now. I have every feeling, for every person, every minute of the day. And I can’t figure out how to reconcile that.

At the same time, I’ve been told not to ask my friends of diverse ethnic backgrounds what I can do to support them. It’s not their job to make me feel better and at ease. That is completely understandable. They have enough to worry about.

I feel lost in between two worlds where supporting different groups in a time of unrest seems almost like cognitive dissonance. It’s confusing. I can’t imagine I’m alone in this.