If You’re Not a Member of Medium, I’m Not Clapping For You

Because, why should I?

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Something occurred to me while reading a featured article on the proper way to make French toast.

Let’s say, hypothetically, I was really dying for knowledge on the right way to make French toast and reeling from the shame of having used generic challah bread to make French toast all of these years.

My God, you could imagine how life-changing finding this article would be. I would most likely mark this day on the calendar. What I wouldn’t do for it is clap.

There may be not anymore challah, but I ain’t gonna holla.


Because the man who wrote the article is not a card carrying member of Medium. He’s not following anyone. He can’t be bothered to pay five dollars a month to participate in a platform from which he stands to gain financially.

That does not compute for me.

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This guy isn’t clapping either.

I’ve heard a lot of talk recently about being all in on Medium. I respect those people a hell of a lot more than I respect people that I feel are the diametric opposite of being all in. Those people that don’t even act like they care.

If you’re not a member of Medium, you’re not reading on Medium. Like any content platform, there is an audience. Everybody knows that the key to good writing is understanding your audience. How can you understand your audience if don’t you see what they are reading by your fellow writers?

If you’re not willing to bother to read what the rest of us are putting out into the world I am going to ascertain that you are a stuck up jackass who probably doesn’t want to splash around in the water occupied by such peasants as us.

Did that sound harsh? Geez, that’s too bad.

If you can’t be bothered to spend a measly five dollars a month to support a platform that’s willing to publish your work, I’m not going to support you.

I take personal offense to that you cheap-ass son of a bitch.

Now, I have made a joke or two about celebrities locking their stories before it was mandatory. Somehow, I really don’t think Natalie Portman is hurting for money that she needs to put her story behind a pay wall. But you know what? Natalie Portman is a paying member of Medium. Be like Natalie. You go, Natalie!

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Skip one morning latte a month and support us, you fool.

As writer members, we understand how Medium works. Well, kind of. Maybe. At the bare minimum, we understand that Medium is funded by membership. It keeps the machine going and that machine is what pays us. It puts food on our tables.

If you are publishing here and not a member, you are taking from the machine without giving back. That’s just a dick move.

Get it together. Until you do, I’m not clapping. I’m not a fan. And my challah bread French toast is delicious as it is, thank you very much.

I don’t worry about offending anyone with this piece. They’re not going to read it anyway.

Written by

Flaming pinball, nerd, music lover, wine snob, horrible violin player. No, I won’t stop taking pictures of my drinks. vanessaltorre@gmail.com IG: vanessaltorre

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