I Turned Dating Into a Social Media Experiment

A large network is setting me up. What could go wrong…

Image for post
Image for post
Photo by Pablo Mechan Montes via Unsplash

I have been single for 19 months. In this span, I’ve had a rebound relationship with a narcissist that was supposed to be fun. It wasn’t. I endured a year-long, on and off again, tumultuous, long distance relationship. I have gone on an estimated four dozen first dates. One turned out to be a pedophile.

This is not what I expected.

I have tried just about every dating app that exists. I have tried meeting people in public places. Grocery stores, concerts, book stores, restaurants, local watering holes.

Yes, I have tried the whole being on my own and letting the good flow to me. I’ve tried not looking. I have tried to manifest crap. I even tried to read The Secret for God’s sake.

Nothing has worked.

I talked to a friend last night. He said that I haven’t met someone because I’m not “trying hard enough.” I’m sorry? Four dozen first dates. I’m not trying? Fine. Challenge accepted.

Today, I took this to a whole other level: I posted an invitation on social media for people to set me up on dates with their friends.

It is one hell of a hare brained idea and it just might work.

I made a quick post on my Facebook page noting that, despite my many efforts at dating, I am still on the market. I asked for their help. I made a big nod to a friend who is a former Captain for the Phoenix Fire Department. That must be the largest pool of men in the city. This friend is also my litmus test. If he doesn’t like you, you’re out. Sounded fair.

The rules are simple: Be kind with your suggestions, understand I’m sensitive, and I will go out with anyone you suggest.

It’s not desperation. It’s expansion. This is intended to keep me in an open mind and to stave off shutting out the world. It let people know I was serious about this. Options open.

Within an couple hours, an old friend from college created a Facebook post championing me and expanding the number of people to serve as references for their unattached male friends.

I loved it. I mean, who doesn’t want to date a 45 year-old woman wearing a Top Gun t-shirt sitting on a swing in a cantina in Mexico? Three other people shared it.

This is what is called the circling of the dating wagons.

I automatically feel more hopeful. More joyful. Part of this is due to deleting my ex-boyfriend’s contact from my phone. There will be no more “on.”

I have no idea what may come of this. Truth be told, it’s been happening for 12 hours and the only offer I have so far is an invitation to a kickass fetish burlesque show in Chicago. You know what, that’s not half bad. I’ll take it. We’ll see.

Written by

Flaming pinball, nerd, music lover, wine snob, horrible violin player. No, I won’t stop taking pictures of my drinks. vanessaltorre@gmail.com IG: vanessaltorre

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store