I am going to tell you the straight up truth that needs to be address in this comment. Lean in close. No couple fights over the dishwasher. Ever. The dishwasher is, of course, a stand it for whatever chore is not being done "right." NO ONE fights over the dishwasher. If you are fighting over the dishwasher you have a larger issue in your marriage that is not being communicated or addressed. It is manifesting as not loading the dishwasher correctly. Second to this, no marriage every got better by ignoring problems and arguing over the dishwasher. I would bet solid money that if you sat down with your wife to discuss the root of her anger, you would find it goes way beyond the dishwasher.