I Am Enjoying Being an Afterthought

The weirdest shift my love life has made.

The number of times I have driven myself (and others, I am sure) crazy with the need to feel important to someone is plentiful. I have craved this. My ex-husband was not so great in the making me feel appreciated, loved and cherished department. When we got divorced, it loomed out there. Now. Maybe now I could finally have that feeling.

I searched for it. I hoped. I looked. I tried to make relationships work. I picked things apart. I overthought. I analyzed messages. I read stupid advice articles. Still, the feeling wasn’t there.

After exchanging brief texts with two different men today, it occurred to me:

I’m no one’s first thought in the morning, nor am I their last thought at the end of the day. I am an afterthought.

And, I don’t mind in the least bit. It’s also shocking as hell to me that I am just fine with this. To be clear, no one is treating me poorly, disrespectfully, or even neglectfully. There’s just an overwhelming absence of expectation. It feels really good. Here’s what it looks like:

I have gone on exactly two dates with a guy. Two. He is handsome, nice and funny and spoke to my dog with the…