I Am a Collector of Unattainable Men

I’ve curated a bizarro world friend zone.

I have several men in my life. Not in a very exciting or interesting way, really. They’re just there.

There is a commonality with them.

They are all unavailable. Some on an emotional level. Some on a physical level. In one way or another, they are just not present.

In a word, they are unattainable. They will never be mine. Now, to be clear, none of these men belong to other women. I was the side chick once. Of course, I had no idea that was what I was… Never doing that again.

One just simply does not have the space for me. One lives in another state. Another has literally been traveling for the last year and is therefore, essentially, homeless. Another is a good friend who does not live in the same city. You see where I’m going here.

I seem to collect men like this. Oh, you’re moving in three weeks? Yes, I would absolutely love to go on a date with you.

Unattainable is safe. It means I don’t have to actually put forth any kind of effort to make something work or to even really care that much. It’s total bullshit. It’s like coming to a road that has a big sign on it that says…