I absolutely understand what you're saying. But, it seems you'vee been married for a while. Have you two discussed this? Have you been to therapy? Hav eyou created boundaries in your marriage regarging how you expect to be treated? It seems this has been going on for quite some time and you've not dealt with it. When couples go too long without dealing with these issues, they get worse. And, the longer you stay married, the longer you may have to pay support, depending on the state.