How I Manage to Infuriate Incels with Wild Success

I have a one-step process that seems to work 100% of the time.

Vanessa Torre
4 min readMay 1


Photo by Craig Adderly via Pexels

Once again, I seem to have triggered the red pill dudes, adding to the hours of already existing videos about how I am the spawn of the devil. This happens every six months or so. I could set a clock by it.

Last week, I was driving down the street when a call from a good friend came through the car. People don’t call each other anymore. If someone calls you, odds are, something is not okay and you should answer. Also, only call people if you are on fire.

My boyfriend was in town so I mulled it over and answered the phone on speaker. My friend proceeded to tell me that somehow a video come across his phone and he was shocked to see the image in the still of the video. My face. It was then followed by an apparently well-known red pill “guru” lambasting me.

Can I tell you that the irony of watching a video in which a narrative is made up about you being unwanted by men and dying alone with your cats is *chef’s kiss* when watching it with your amazing smokeshow boyfriend?

Here’s the kicker: Nothing in the content that this dude was responding to mentioned anything about a) men, b) dating, c) marriage, d) sex, or e) anything else that could be taken as an assault against men.

So what did I do to trigger the red pill dude? What have I done numerous times before? What is my one-step process to garner hundreds of comments from incels about me online? It’s easy:

I exist.

As a woman.

Over the age of 40.

And I’m happy.

In case you were not aware, there is an entire movement of men out there that are so incredibly mindblown that women are not picking them (because they are such “nice” guys) that they froth at the mouth at the idea of women existing in happiness as a general state of being. Add age to this and they are in a veritable tizzy.

To feed their rejection rage, they have to make up a whole story about how we are secretly…



Vanessa Torre

Top 10 feminist writer. Writing, coaching, and relentlessly hyping women in midilfe. Email: