From 0 to Midlife Swamp Monster in 2.4 Seconds

I have entered a stage of my life called the “Wet Bar of Soap” stage.

Photo by cottonbros via Pexels. Also, not sure why she’s so warm. I have t-shirts older than her.

Google is a rude bitch. We are no longer on speaking terms. It’s not Google’s fault. Google is just doing its job. Once again, I blame whoever came up with the design that is called the female body that cared not to leave us a manual. It’s impolite.