How I Found My Partner After Five Excruciating Years of Dating

It did not involve manifesting, a dating app, or being set up.

Vanessa Torre
6 min readAug 11, 2023
Photo by KaLisa Veer on Unsplash

After five years of post-divorce dating and learning to navigate the dating space again in my 40s, I realized that 98% of everything I was told to do to find a life partner was utter crap. It doesn’t work. It was never going to work.

Last October, I met my partner and nothing about it made sense. Nothing. I was on vacation, for the love of God. He is everything I ever wanted, some things I never expected, and a couple things I thought I gave up on. This wrapped up in a tall, handsome package that wears nice shoes and is geekier than I ever imagined.

Exactly two months from today, ironically on the one-year anniversary of the day we met, we will be packing my life up into a U-Haul and moving me from my long-time home of Phoenix to the Bay Area.

So, what is the answer? What is the secret sauce? How did I do it? In a nutshell. I took control of my life and let the pieces fall where they may. One of the pieces that fell was a man names Jason.

I let go of every trite bit of advice I had ever been given

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