Member-only story
Eventually, Your Love for Them Will Die
It may not seem that way now. Be patient.
A year ago, he was everything to me. He wasn’t even my boyfriend, though. He didn’t refer to me as his girlfriend. It didn’t stop me from becoming completely wrapped up in him.
He led me through a year of torture. Pushing me away. Pulling me back in. Gaslighting me. Giving me just enough to want more and never giving me the more. Nevertheless, I was dumb enough to love this man who I didn’t call my boyfriend. He said he loved me too but I don’t know about that. I think he loved the idea of me.
Our relationship was such a non-thing that I once told him that if anything ever happened to him, he would be dead and gone and long-buried before I ever found out. No one knew about me.
I expressed my concern to him. We weren’t connected on social media. He made sure of that. I had never met his friends. His family had heard about me once or twice when we first started seeing each other. They wouldn’t know my name. No one would call me and tell me if he were in an accident. He seemed unphased by this.
That was when I knew I wasn’t going to ever be the first person to know if something happened…
