Civil discourse! God damn it! It’s a beautiful thing.

I think, at the bare bones of it, people just want to feel understood. We want to be acknowledged. Regardless of gender, when we experience something, we want someone to recognize that those are our feelings.

We all spend way too much time trying to invalidate feelings. Worse yet, tell each other that our feelings are more important.

What I date more than anything else, is the victim mentality. The blame culture. I see this so frequently in writing. This happened to me. This is why it was not my fault. This is why my poor behavior, as a result, is just fine. It’s bullshit. And I can say that having caught myself in it. I said something stupid because something someone said dragged up some serious issues I was struggling to deal with. I acted poorly. I owned it.

I have said it many times in my writing and I say it one more time: Other people’s level of comfort with your feelings is not your concern. Your feelings are your concern.

Written by

Flaming pinball, nerd, music lover, wine snob, horrible violin player. No, I won’t stop taking pictures of my drinks. IG: vanessaltorre

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store